#AND MORE THAN THREE HOURS OF FREE TIME
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strawberry-seal77 · 5 months ago
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BACK FROM CAMPPPPP
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squisheebugdoodles · 4 months ago
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Okay Here Is The Problem: everything costs money and yet money is something that i just literally never have. solution? kill the idea of money so that nothing costs anything Please. i'm so tired
#despite making more money w/ my commissions than ever before this year#i am still. not able to save up literally even one (1) single penny of it bc of bills#i have to make like 600 every month just to break even at like 5 dollars in my acct#please i am so fucking tired#i want to get myself things and do shit#i want to buy things for archie and jack's dog and for the house so that things are better for all of us#i want to be able to afford snacks more than once every three months like if i maybe want a bag of chips#instead of saving up for three months and going 'yeah okay 5 dollars for a normal sized bag of chips is finally worth it' ?????????????????#why the fuck are chips so expensive that is potatoes and spices and like all of it is automated hello?? what are we fucking paying for?????#ANYWAYS.#i am just fucking. Tired#due to recent events I was like#'okay how much are dog treadmills.... oh. i see. i will never be able to afford that even after three years saving. got it'#there are five hundred fundraisers on my dash (BARELY hyperbole) every single day and everybody needs help#so i COMPLETELY get people not having a ton of disposable funds this isn't me complaining about that i'm just.#i wish that i sometimes had money so that i could MAYBE save anything up or y'know. have ANYTHING to show for it#bc right now i am working full time at this job (commission/freelance artist and adopt maker etc) and making like maybe 4 dollars an hour#which is great bc when i started i was only getting about $0.11 an hour but like. that's still not. Good. For all the time i put into it#but due to circumstances and situations this is about all i'm physically and mentally able to do here and i LIKE doing commission but it's#not really. getting me anywhere and i just want to afford things finally.#i'm 27 and everything i own fits in one room and almost all of it was gifted to me for free bc i couldn't afford to get it on my own#delete later i'm just so tired man
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"yes im so fine"
*researches whether i can get my hands on ipecac*
#tw ed#obligatory MASSIVE do not do this#straight up poison that can kill you from one (1) time#used to be used to induce vomiting#directly the cause of death of karen carpenter and countless others#i wont i swear i wont#but i still researched it bc i was curious#tbh there are easier ways of poisoing oneself than semi illegal drugs#also if yall remember the post about a poison i own: i did more reseach and while that amount would probably kill me w no medical#intervention; it would take just under three times as much to be absolutely certain of hitting the toxic dose (calculated quantity per kg#of the top end of a given range. so it could kill me but if i was gonna go out that way id want about three times as much to be sure.)#honestly surprised ive never heard of any deaths from it. the most likely way to survive would be to throw it up i think#(or present to hospital and take charcoal or smth)#honestly though. my research says loss of consciousness and required intubation within half an hour in case studies#hence if you werent in reach of medical attention youd probably collapse an die#and i am very deliberately NOT mentioning what it is bc of how toxic it is#ive thought of combining it and another method to be absolutely sure but eh#honestly if it DIDNT work it sounds straight up embarrassing to admit to people tho thats one of the things stopping me#but literally a dose in a child requiring intubation and kid ended up in a coma recovered w no ill effects.#thats the dream yk. try and succeed and youre free; try and fail and you see no ill effects.#but yeah i wouldnt try w only the amount i have.#so im safe#....rereading the above. okay i might be a little mentally ill lol#but i am safe and absolutely nobody call the cops on me.#im fine.#tw suicide#puddleglum hours#nobody worry abt me ok. im fine.#just thinking silly lil thoughts like usual :)#EDIT: just occurred to me that using this poison could make it not look like a suicide
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mem-fr · 9 months ago
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Was just wondering how long you have been doing pixel art for? Oh and what art program do you use for your pinfeather pixels? ^-^
i'm not really sure ! i've never really focused on pixel art , i've just kind of meandered in it now and then since like 15 years ago when i would spend my computer class drawing in MS paint with a mouse haha .
i've also never gone out of my way to make 'real' pixel art . i know that there are standards in regards to the amount of colors , using layers / layer effects , etc. that some pixel artists and communities considered defining elements to whether something is actually pixel art . the limitations are considered part of the craft which is very cool ! but i don't have any of that stuff in mind , or refrain from using anything that gets the look i want or makes my work easier , so i don't try to call myself a pixel artist or the pinfeather pixels 'real' pixel art , i just sort of go for the aesthetic i suppose lol .
so , i use SAI 2 and photoshop ( CC 2018 ) for the pinfeather pixels , same as most of my art ! SAI's binary brush has a very smooth tapering effect with pen pressure that makes creating Good Shapes™ easier . i do a lot of the actual drawing in SAI .
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photoshop has the custom brushes i use for broader dithering + layer management and adjustment tools that create a smooth workflow . these templates take a whole lot of work , time , and testing to create , with the trade off that i am making them as easy and efficient to use once i am actually taking orders .
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questionablepastries · 1 year ago
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The shit I have in store for y’all. . . The urge to post a wip but NAY I say ‼️‼️ I will hold back and complete these damn things with COLOR
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you-will-return · 8 months ago
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unproduciblesmackdown · 2 years ago
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NOTE: THIS ITEM IS CURRENTLY IN PREORDER. IT WILL SHIP IN JUNE-JULY 2023. We will be printing based on preorder size, so grab one now if you want one!
More than 40 trans writers and artists have joined forces to explore the deeper meanings of the Fast & Furious franchise (and also gender). There's really no way to know why this exists, but it does, and you can own it! Suitable for F&F fans and newcomers alike. Contributions include:
- A new short story by Manhunt author Gretchen Felker-Martin - A demolition derby driver’s perspective on 2 Fast 2 Furious’s derby scene - An essay contemplating the queer symbolism of Cipher’s bowl cut - The scoop on the franchise’s only canonically nonbinary character - Instructions for an F&F-themed tabletop roleplaying game - A contemplation of which Taylor Swift album represents each F&F character - Plus: Bingo cards! Comics! Haiku! And, of course, hot gay erotica…
2 Trans 2 Furious is edited by Tuck Woodstock & Niko Stratis, with cover art by Mattie Lubchansky and zine design by Shay Mirk.
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This zine is 8.5" x 5.5" and perfect-bound like a real book — fancy! Interior pages are black & white. We're guessing this baby is like 100 pages long but we'll get back to you on that.
Currently only shipping to the United States, sorry! We're hoping to at least expand to Canada soon, and also plan to add a PDF ebook option, so keep an eye out!
(that "the scoop on the franchise's only canonically nonbinary character" is the page i contributed about our one & only beloved akd-acted cam stone!! plus also if you're interested in preordering a fancy printed copy of a zine about fast & furious, which you don't have to even know about or like, with all trans contributors. including me)
#and i don't even hardly know about it or like it. proof positive#cam stone#i even looked up typical pixel to dpi ratios so my art would be high res enough for printing. Canvas Big & my laptop hated it lol....#but indeed there's three cam pics including an effort at a kind of pinup adjacent Ooh Cam Stone one lol. carefully placed torque wrenches#anyone look up f&f posting on this site....there's gotta be; right. this whole zine is an ode to that. well here goes a few tags:#fast & furious#f&f#2 fast 2 furious#gets a special shoutout. inspiring us all well beyond [even seeing any f&f related stuff. tfatf....#also would be one less contributer if not scholar nothingunrealistic.tumblr.com; also the source of my knowing abt cam stone in general;#being the one to know of this project & go ''perfect cam stone opportunity'' like it Really is isn't it#and thus; against all odds but also appropriately; Racing to actually create a page abt them to spread the good news#in that there was like a month & a half's heads up but i still exponentially did most of the actual execution days before the deadline#ran into some technical difficulties in the final hours lol but then seized a Post Submission Editing Opportunity to amend that w/more time#and to go ''i wrote it as fast & furious: crossroads which is what many sources format it as But official materials write it like#fast & furious crossroads without the colon & it's nbd but i would prefer to change it =('' getting a yeah no prob lol....#fixed up some very minor visual errors & changed one instance of word ordering so that it had some more Prosody imo. didn't mention that lo#plus going ''yeah there can/should be an editor's note to emphasize This Is Really Real Not An OC b/c that's clearer And funnier''#fast & furious extended universe really has a nonbinary character & if they're for real abt this finale Trilogy call akd up please....#let's get that cam & vienna cameo it's fast(tm) easy & free (it's not free....might not even be easy but it's more than worth it)#fast & furious crossroads#anyone looking That up has gotta get in on this#pdf / virtual option tba as mentioned....but physical copy rules too. i forget if i sent them my mailing address but i think i did lol#the ideal of being Gifted one like yeah i Will take this around with me then thank you#truly the most formal publishing my Work has ever seen. besides ''online'' or ''once i did a painting that i think was on the wapo site''#and a very appropriate way to achieve that....but fr what's great is So Many More Ppl Can Now Learn Cam Stone Exists#we've got The Scoop as attested babey!!! 🍨#and in turn we owe it all to akd everyone say thank you akd for acting that pwns & a je ne sais quoi to boot#which; in turn; thank you kompenso; thank you will roland's pwning acting/je ne sais quoi; thank you michael greif What Works understander.#i have remembered that pixels are implicit in the term ''dpi''....but it's a wash on clarity yet funnier to leave it as i wrote it
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designernishiki · 1 year ago
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status update on my mission to 100% and platinum yakuza 0: completion list is at 99.2% and would’ve been finished today if not for pool (carom/combo shots- i made enough money from it though) and batting. my most significant peaks today were probably beating both so and jo amon on the first try miraculously and at one point i got like 34 points in expert koikoi
#if anyone has any advice on pool or batting feel free to tell me because boy am I struggling#and I’m so……so close#oh forgot to mention it but I also did all the climax battles I can for the time being- so a little over half of them maybe?#cant do the rest til I go through the finale and all that#frothing at the fucking mouth . I am so. CLOSE#y0#rambling#I think I actually like koikoi a little better than oichi kabu ngl. but maybe im just saying that cause I got lucky with koikoi#I do think I’m genuinely okay at it cause like I started to memorize the high point cards and the main hands (especially the high point#but still doable ones like moon viewing and boar/deer/butterfly) and yea worked towards those with my Choices#but still I wouldn’t say I’m Great at it either#not as confident with it as I am with mahjong#but no shit. I played mahjong for like three days straight where as koikoi I maybe spent two or three hours total on#eh actually maybe more like 1-2 hours. took me way less time than oichi kabu#anyway. very very close to 100% completion but still got a bit to go til I can platinum the game since I gotta#go back and do the main story again on legend mode and all that#the finale won’t take long considering I’m crazy maxed out in stats and weapons and all that but going through on legend mode + the rest#of the climax battles will probably be a bit more intensive#really honestly impressed with myself on the Amon fights. like. a month ago I would absolutely assume I’d have to have my friend do those#fights for me cause they’re fucking insane and both have 14 health bars or something like that. but I’ve grown. I’ve learned. i best them#MYSELF. and on HARD at that. very glad I did a ton of shit at the coliseum cause that helped train up for the Amons a Lot.#ok time to shut up and sleep
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hella1975 · 2 years ago
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SNORK FUCKING MIMIMI
#my day started at 11AM. ELEVEN. AM. let that sink in. and has just now ended at 3am. (three in the morning. am. 3am. three am.)#i am SLEEPY i cant feel MY LEGS#like we all got ready at 11am. we went to spoons breakfast. we pre'd until like 2/3#AND THEN WE WENT TO THE HORSE RACES! BC THERE WAS A STUDENT DAY THING! IT WAS SO FUN! MUCH BETTER THAN LAST TIME!#and we were there until like? 9? i think?#and then we come home to get our shit together. had a chinese. drank some more. and then we went to the club#and we stayed until close bc when i TELL YOU the dj did not play a single skip song#it was just banger after banger i think ive lost my voice#but oh my god my POOR LITTLE LEGS#I WAS IN HEELS THE ENTIRE TIME I WAS AT THE RACES#6/7 HOURS IN HEELS JUST TO TAKE THEM OFF TO GO CLUBBING??? OW#IM GOD'S STRONGEST SOLDIER TBFH#ALL THAT WAITRESSING DID ME GOOD APPARENTLY MY FEET ARE STRONGER THAN SISYPHUS ON THEIR OWN#FUCK THAT ROCK BOY#ow. ow ow ow. but it was such a good day so idc. i met a guyyyyy <3#i also fucking body checked this one girl and i feel a bit bad bc she was so clearly having her teen coming of age moment in the club#like white girl dancing hands over her head twirling etc. unfortunately for her AND ME that involved bumping into me repeatedly#and like? she kept turning to us to try make us dance with her but me and my mates were having a lot of fun in our little trio so we didn't#which yeah maybe that was mean but tbh if someone did that to me id take no for an answer the first time instead of repeatedly doing it#like she was acting like she was empowering us and freeing us from the shackles of insecurity when rlly we were just like girl no#and she WOULD NOT GET THE FUCK OFF ME like zero spacial awareness to her#the irony of clubs is like yeah obvs ur surrounded by people but it's also looked down upon if ur seriously in someone's space#so i just wasn't having it and in the end i just fully fucking SHOVED her off lmfaoooo. sorry girlie <3#like i felt embarassed for her bc of it like she was so in her own little world and i absolutely ruined it but idc#be aware of other people and their comfort bitch!#anyway yeah it was very fun all in all <3#hella goes to uni
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sailforvalinor · 2 years ago
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#hffjfhfhhhhghgh#sometimes you think you’re over a guy but then you have a normal conversation with him like a normal person and proceed to think about it#for the next ten hours#my silly little INFP brain is being insufferable about this#like seriously I don’t want to date a guy who curses like a sailor I don’t#but we just get along so well together? he was homeschooled like me? he’s an lotr fanatic (as in he’s read the books)? he has OPINIONS#about little women? he’s an agatha christie fan?? he had reasonable things to say in biblical studies a couple years ago (which is more#than I can say for 95 percent of the people in that class)?#but I mean it doesn’t matter we’ve known each other for nearly three years and I can’t tell that he’s ever had that kind of interest in me#(granted I am a TERRIBLE judge)#fun fact though he is the guy who read a story I wrote freshman year and read a romance scene and exclaimed ‘that’s it! that’s what love is#supposed to be!’#I mean how was I SUPPOSED to react#if nothing else he’s definitely one of Anne’s kindred spirits and I think I can live with that#anyway sorry feel free to ignore I just needed to ramble#I drove for like three hours today and it was just swirling around in my head the whole time#will probably delete later because there are a couple people who follow me who know me irl and would probably know exactly what I’m talking#about. they’re not super active though so#(and yes this is Alcott boy. although hilariously before I knew his name I called him Agatha Christie boy)#on a lighter note I may have convinced him to watch otgw because it has Elijah wood in it lol
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What if I just don't sleep. What then.
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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 2 years ago
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Today I woke up at a reasonable time, ate breakfast, showered, washed my face, walked to the coffee shop, came home and finished four things, three of which were on my computer and one of which was fixing some pants. All within like three hours. Look at me. I'm neurotypical now.
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fingertipsmp3 · 6 months ago
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That last post just reminded me of something honestly mind-boggling that that friend did
#so i’d just gone back to uni after being home for the weekend and i messaged my friend to let her know#and she said ‘oh awesome i’m studying in the library with my friends from my course all day; come up!’#i lived a 15 minute bus ride from campus and had a free pass so it wasn’t a problem at all for me to get myself there#(and i went to campus tons anyway. like i think i went to the library once a day that whole year to be honest. i was writing my dissertation#so even though i didn’t like her friends (they were snooty; cliquey; all the guys would try to flirt with you in creepy ways) i said ‘sure’#but there was one problem: i’d left my wallet at home. my grandma had lent me some cash as soon as i’d realised (too far into the journey to#go back) and i’d be fine for the few days it took for someone to get my wallet to me; but i didn’t have my student ID#and i needed that to get to the upper floors of the library. where my friend and her friends were#SO i communicated that to her and she was like ‘yeah of course i’ll let you in! just let me know when you’re there’#so i did that and got no response. didn’t think anything of it. but then she messaged saying something about how her friends were having an#argument; someone was having a breakdown and she couldn’t come down right then#i was like ‘fine take a few minutes’ but i was obviously annoyed because what do you mean?? just walk away for a second#use me to diffuse the situation and change the subject if you have to?#so i said to let me know when she was coming down but i didn’t hear anything and it was crowded as fuck on the ground floor of the library#so i think i gave her like 10 minutes and just went to the business school’s cafe#nearly an HOUR later my phone rang and it was evidently her standing in the reception area of the library wondering where i was#i was like did you honestly think i’d still be waiting?? did you think i had nothing better to do with my life than wait around#like a schmuck to hang out with you and your godawful friends who i don’t like. jesus christ#and i mean it’s still not the most insane way she’s disrespected my time. like a few months after that she called me asking if i wanted to#go for a walk. i said ‘yeah’ and proceeded to get ready and everything. waited for her. she’s like ‘actually i need to do x’#then i didn’t hear from her. after like an hour i gave up and started working on my dissertation#she pulled up to my house THREE HOURS after she initially called and was absolutely bamboozled when i said i no longer wanted to go#on a walk and that i was working on my dissertation and had gotten in the zone#like if you’re going to be That late you’ve gotta tell people. you can’t expect them to still be waiting on you#past a certain point; especially with no communication; i just assume i’ve been stood up and i go do something else#because like realistically why the hell WOULDN’T i go do something else if i more than likely have 3 hours to do it in lmao#i can’t with this type of behaviour. i really think she thinks other people don’t have lives#or want to hang out with her so badly that they’re willing to sit around for hours waiting#i just think she should manage her ego to be honest#personal
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idontdrinkgatorade · 6 months ago
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couldn't fall asleep and started feeling depressed and anxious and horribly paranoid about my future so guess who's on tumblr at 12:15 a.m.
#my phone's in the front and my computer was already put up#but i just. could not go to sleep. no matter how hard i tried#i was on the verge of a mental breakdown i guess#i feel like i'm going to lose contact with all my friends#like all of my close friends are either going to a completely different college or aren't even graduating yet#and out of all of my friends i have the furthest driving distance to their cities and i hate driving#like everyone will be living within an hour of each other EXCEPT ME i'm gonna be at least three hours away#and i hate driving so much it stresses me out i think i'm just gonna die on the road and have no future#and i made an insta specifically to attempt to keep contact but idk what i'm doing and idk if it'll even work#i feel like i'm just gonna be another name that people see#i'm so scared of being alone and i'm so scared of losing the people i love#and i'm so scared of them forgetting about me or losing interest in me#they're so important to me but i'm afraid i'm going to stop being important to them#god i'm afraid of leaving the damn cat. she's going to forget about me too#i'm so bad at keeping contact with people i don't know what i'm going to do#i'm so scared of trying to talk to people bc i always think i'm just annoying them no matter how close we are#people say we'll keep in contact but i know i'm just going to be too scared to put in the effort and then they'll stop too#i dunno i miss the times when we fantasized about leaving the country and moving together with all our friends#i wish that could be a reality#and we're going to be so busy too so even just trying to coordinate something won't work#i should have made an insta sooner fuck this is stupid. if i made it sooner i would have more time to create connections and get used to it#rather than just sit there not knowing what to do#i'm just scared of losing everything i know#well fuck i forgot i had attachment issues. i forgot that was literally one of the most substantial aspects of my early childhood trauma#fuck why can't i be normal. why can't i be okay. why can't i be a social person and actually be able to talk to people#there's so much i'm going to miss about my friends and my life. i just. idk what i'm gonna do now#i was looking forward to it bc i would finally be free from the grasp of my parents but at what cost?
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drdemonprince · 1 year ago
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If you’ve never been all that disobedient before, you can and should start really, really small. For example, you can wear the slightly revealing or gloriously trashy-looking garment that makes your mom roll her eyes and sigh despondently every time she sees you put it on. You will feel judged and disapproved of when you put it on, but that is fine. Your goal is to sit with the uncomfortable feelings and continue with your desired behavior anyway.  Saunter down the steps in that highlighter-yellow Garfield crop top with your chest hair flowing over the neckline, and harness as much courage as you can muster. It’s okay if you feel like a beacon of sin. Just keep it moving. Your emotions are not the target here. Your behavior is. You can feel however you are feeling in the moment so long as you keep acting like you’re free.  Do you have a favorite TV show that a partner or roommate vocally hates? Try watching that show around them without apologizing or defensively joining them in mocking the program. At first, you probably won’t be able to enjoy the show while in their presence. You’ll feel self-conscious about everything they find annoying or cringe-inducing about the show, and so focused on their reactions that you can’t relax. That’s okay. Allow those feelings of embarrassment and guilt to exist and pass through you without giving up. In time, you will be able to ignore these reactions more, and enjoy the activity.  You want to see the needle of discomfort moving down just a little, like Link’s body temperature meter in Tears of the Kingdom when he puts on a breathable outfit in a hot climate. You’re not gonna go from roiling hot to frosty cold in an instant. But after a certain point, you won’t be actively in pain anymore. Things are just gonna slowly suck less, bit by bit, until they are finally okay. That’s true of most major life adjustments, I find.  Probably the best way to develop self-advocacy skills while growing in your distress tolerance is simply by telling other people no. Do this without explanation or hedging. Nitpicky aunt wants to hear all about your dating life? “No, I don’t want to talk about that.” Unreliable ex-friend wants you to do them the tiny favor of moving their entire home gymnasium into a new third story walk-up? “No, I’m not available.” Manipulative shift supervisor wants to cajole you into sticking around for another three hours to close? “No.”  As many advice columnists smarter than me have already intoned, “no” is a complete sentence. “No” requires no explanation. “No” is not subject to debate. “No” can be repeated over and over like a broken record if a disrespectful person acts like they can’t hear it. And you can walk away at any time to make your “no” physical and impossible to argue with, when someone has proven they don’t respect your boundaries. 
you can read or listen to the full piece for free here
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korusalka · 9 months ago
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